Fear
An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
I took this when we visited my grandparents in AZ last year…poisonous diamondback snakes fall under that definition for sure haha
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Thanks to a chat with my dad over the weekend, I now realize different kinds of fear affect different aspects of life.
Irrational fears vs rational fears.
Let’s start with rational fears. REAL fears– things that’re physically or emotionally terrifying that could probably kill you i.e. bungee jumping or hopping into a tank with frenzy feeding sharks in your underwear.
Everyone can pretty much agree that these are effing scary, even Evil Kinevil must’ve had a little fear prior to some of his stunts 
uhh yeaahh…pretty creepy
And then there’s the irrational.
These stinkers may seem just as disturbing as the rational to your brain, but in reality, they kind of sound dumb. They’re not life threatening, but your mind makes them seem like they are.
Personally, I find it very hard to distinguish the two. For instance, someone’s irrational fear may sound like– “OMG I’m going to get SO fat if I eat that!” or “If I have a lick of that high-fructose-corn-syrup-laden ice cream, I’m going to be poinsoned and die of heart disease.” Those kind of thoughts can warp your mind into thinking you’re in danger from something as innocent as ice cream.
The media doesn’t help much either. One second there’s a study on how drinking coffee will shorten your lifespan, and then a few weeks later, someone discovers that coffee is actually beneficial to your health. WTF?!
All of the conflicting messages + highly impressionable brains = irrational fears and unreachable standards.
The reason why I’m addressing this is because I’ve been having some mental struggles as the O-chem stress piles up. Struggles about nutrition, about self-worth, and a lot of other crap I don’t really feel like getting into.
When my dad and I started to flesh out the differences between some of my rational and irrational fears, I realized that a lot of it is unnecessary fret I conjure up, like:
- worrying about passing O-chem 2 during the next summer 5 week term
- worrying about my O-Chem 1 final exam this Friday
- worrying about if my training plan is beneficial to my goals
- worrying about spending too much $$ on food
- worrying if I’m doing paleo right for a weight lifter
- worrying if I’m eating enough since I’m avoiding measuring and counting food
- worrying about moving out of my apartment by the 15th
You can see there’s a lot of worrying about POINTLESS stuff.
All of the above are irrational fears. It’s not like my life is in peril with any of them– no wild howler monkeys are about to burst out of my closet and maul me to death.
that’s a freakin creepy monkey
Sure, this stuff means a lot to me in my life right now, but will it matter in the big picture? Will I die tomorrow if I don’t eat x amount of calories? Will the apocalypse come if I fail a test?
No.
These sneaky irrational fears are clogging up my brain and inflicting wounds.
So. How to combat this.
I’ve been doing a lot of praying, talking, and online researching the past few days. This article grounded me and got me back on track. (Even if you don’t struggle with counting calories, you should totally read it.) But I think the thing that has helped me the most– distinguishing my fears and realizing that while they may seem scary to me, they don’t matter in the big picture.
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What are some of your rational fears? Irrational? How do you combat both types?
I’d love to hear your thoughts! 
um, i think that monkey looks scared of YOU hahaha. But in all seriousness, the irrational fears are sometimes worse than the rational ones! I feel ya especially on worrying about grades – I was pre-med through most of college and knew I wasn’t as naturally smart as most of the people I was “competing” against (reason why I didn’t even end up going to med school…”competing” is a very accurate word, ugh) – therefore I had to work so much harder. And I was constantly on edge about studying and my grades, I think I was more afraid of getting a B than I was of anything else. HOW LUCKY am I that my life’s biggest fear was getting B’s?!? But it was a real fear for me andhonestly it was stupid – spending that much energy on anxiety meant that my study power declined and as such….I got some B’s. SO my point there is that you’re absolutely right – irrational fears do NOT SERVE ANYONE!! You just gotta brush that dirt off yo shoulder and pretend like you don’t care – the fake it till ya make it thing
also, I love that quote, it’s really in the bible exactly 365 times?!? that’s insane!!
Ahh YESSSS it’s like we’re the same human I swear! I can relate with that competitiveness in the classroom and I’m not even pre med haha And dude I know, that quote made my entire life!
I love this post, Alexandra (the same goes for all your posts in your new blog)! LIke you, I let myself get consumed with matters which are so irrelevant in the long run…every so often, I have to remind myself to take a step and see if it’s worth my time and energy. Also I try not to worry about things which are beyond my control…if not, worrying is not going to get me anywhere. The point about stressing about blowing up after certain foods also struck a chord with me- if only I could go back into time and tell my old self to take a chilll pill – for real!
I am amazed that your relationship with your dad is open enough to talk about these things. I think I am living in a bubble because my family is very private and when we are being “open” we talk about our day. My conversations with my parents are mainly about the weather…it’s sad and I’m trying to change it, but it is really hard!
On another note, I think it’s great you have recognized these irrational fears and are trying to combat them. I have an irrational fear that if I eat the same as everyone else I will be be forgotten about by everyone and have no personality/identity. I have another irrational fear that if I care about somebody too much they will leave me, so I always try not to care…which is just strange. BUT yesterday I was reflecting on last weeks verse of the week (1 John 4:16) and happened to read a few verses below (1 John 4:18) which says that there is no fear in love! I’ve really been thinking about how I can combat these irrational fears, because how can I love if I am plagued by fear? I am sure we can do this, I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts! Have a good start to the week
I LOVE those verses, there are so many keepers in 1 John
I’ll be praying for you and wishing you all the best as well, you got this girl!
This is a brilliant post! I have a few rational fears, such as being violently killed (whether that’s by a human or vicious animal). I have more irrational fears, that is for sure. It has a lot to do with my Type A personality, which I am sure you can relate. I fear that if I don’t get to the gym at the the I have designated, I will mess everything up. I fear that if I don’t get enough protein in me post-workout, I will shrivel into nothing. I fear that if I do not eat breakfast, I will go catabolic. So ridiculous, right?! I need to work on just remember I can’t be perfect!
UGGHHH YESSS stupid type a personalities SUCK don’t they?! I wish I could just shut that voice up sometimes and move on haha
wow thank you for this, I agree it is so hard to distinguish between the two.I know I still have a lot of irrational fears and I hate that. I try to at least talk about them or do what you do and research them it helps calm them down.
Ah, this is such a good perspective! I am such a worrier! “What if Andy gets in a car crash when he drives to work?” “What if my car won’t start?” “What if I am always sick and never get better?” AH! It is so mentally draining! I need to work on trusting God and letting go of my irrational fears!
Thank you so much for this!
Great post! You know what I LOVE to remember when I’m freaking out about something? “Will this matter a few weeks, months, or a year from now?” Usually, the answer is no. That means I shouldn’t stress over something so dumb!
man I love this post! irrational fears have been creeping up on me lately, as well…mostly about money and the future…I fear the unknown, which is sad because I used to thrive on it.
Such a great and important post Alex… and one that is important and helpful for me today! I am constantly bursting the seams with irrational fears, which certainly chimes in to my overthinking and over-analyzing self. The fears are there so then I try to control all situations in every way I can, and of course the irrational fears seem to be the most believable. I am soo so glad you are working on differentiating between the two, something both of us need to continue working on!
Have a fabulous Monday lovely lady
It is so hard to figure out what fears are real and which ones are just ridiculous! I think most of my fears lately have been pretty irrational but sometimes they just seem so rational to me. I think it’s awesome that you talked to your dad about it, I can always figure stuff out when I talk it out with someone and it’s reassuring to know that someone’s got your back and knows where you’re coming from!
It is so amazing what kind of relationship you and your dad are having. I could never talk about such things with mine because he denies each and every problem,no matter what. I often feel like he’s trying to protect our family image this way,but in my eyes,he rather does the contrary… BUT anyhoo,enough about me,this is about YOU!
I can relate to those irrational fears you have A LOT. I worry far too much about minor things because they just don’t seem that “minor” to me – in my eyes,each of them is a HUGE drama and oh my god,how shall I survive that?!?!!
In the end,it’s just as you say: The big picture is what matters,not the tiny details. Still,I need to work on realizing and initiating this for myself though…
Amen about every little thing turning into a huge drama– that’s been my life as of late and it can be so frustrating! I’ll be praying for peace for both of us
My irrational fears are similar to yours when it comes to school. I stress about passing tests, or getting enough sleep/study time. I fear failure, not accomplishing my goals..silly stuff I KNOW is possible.
Rationally I fear the dark, when I am outside I think someone is going to attack me haha..I watch too many movies. I fear car crashes, drowning..meh.
BEAUTIFUL post girl!! You are going to do great in O.Chem and I think you are kicking butt with the paleo way of eating for weight lifting
Rational fear –> jello (I really hate that it “dances” when you touch it) & sharks
Irrational –> If I get injured from running ill never be able to run again and become super out of shpe
Thank you so much for the encouragement my friend, you have no idea how much it means to me! <3
I love the question “Will this matter ten years from now?” and the answer is usually no if it’s irrational.
Ahhh, Alexandra, such a great post! I am the queen of irrational fears. Seriously. And I psych myself out so much because of them. So, don’t let your fears psych you out and prevent your success! You are awesome and can conquer it all. You’re gonna do great in orgo and you’re awesome at being paleo, I’m sure!
Love this! I have so many rational and irrational fears. I basically just clump them into one. I’m always so fearful when I can’t control a situation. It’s as if everything will go completely wrong if I don’t have control. Wrong! There’s probably not a minute of my day that goes by where I’m not thinking about something going wrong.
i think God had the same little nudge on our hearts this morning. just remember, life is bigger than our worries and GOD is bigger than life. xxoo
<3 YESS LOVE IT!!! (ps– you did go to spam…evil little spam bots haha)
ah, thank you for posting this. i’ve a big time worrier and always prone to anxiety. i’ve been really focusing on sitting with my anxiety and just letting it wash over me instead of trying to stifle it. i find that afterwards, the problems seem smaller and my power seems bigger.
i have all the confidence in the world for you and know you’re going to do great!
I like this. I’ve dealt a lot with anxiety in the past, so I have had my fair share of figuring out rational vs. irrational! Luckily I figured out how to manage it for the most part, but seriously the irrational fears take over so easily and we don’t even realize how silly they are sometimes. The best way for me to cope with them is writing about them and going through “thought challengers” that were embedded into my brain by my therapist years ago. Think “Does this matter in the grand scheme of things?” and “Will it really harm you?”. They really help me out!
I love that idea of writing things out– that usually helps me cope too. I’ll definitely be trying that!
LOVE this post girl! We totally did have a really similar one today didn’t we? I’m so happy we’re recognizing that we’re fearing the wrong things.
Rational fear: being hit by a car on a busy street. Irrational fear: eating too many carbs will turn me into a heffalump. Saying my irrational fears out loud or talking them through with someone like you do with your dad normally helps me too. I find when I’m particularly stressed is when they tend to pop up more!
Love love love. I’m so happy you are realizing that your fear is held in the wrong place! And that you are making strides to overcome the irrational fears. I’ve definitely struggled with anxiety and even panic disorder in the past, so I can totally relate to the irrational fear. You are doing amazing in your chem and rocking it out in the paleo and weight room!!! Love you xo
I’ve been stressing out a lot lately over things out of my control as well– graduating, starting my new job, my last online class, family issues, etc. etc. I honestly think a huge part of it for me is having my type A personality. I sometimes forget that I am NOT in control, and that it’s up to me to make sure my life unfolds as perfectly as possible. WRONG WRONG WRONG!
It has really helped me to pray and rely on God’s planning!
Irrational fears are the scariest in my mind. I’m more of a hypochondriac then having a bunch of irrational fears, but it is scary. Like one minute I’m convinced I have cancer and the next I have IBS – my mom thinks i’m crazy hahahaa. Girrrrl you are going to do awesome in Ochem and if you ever need help I’m here for you! You should check out this girl from my high school’s blog – Whole Wheat or Bust – if you haven’t already. I’ve known her since kindergarten and girl is made good at eating paleo and doing weight lifting and what not.
I always worry about $$ I think that is just a normal thing. Just relax and buy what you need and then a few things of what you just want like a chocolate bar haha
Oooh thanks for the blog link, I can’t wait to check it out!
Irrational and rational fears are very difficult things to manage! It’s been hard for me to put them in perspective, especially because some irrational fears are actually rational :/ Best of luck with your OChem classes! They were my JAM!
Great post – and thanks for the link to the site about calorie counting. It totally sucks, that’s for sure. Unfortunately, it’s the best I can do for now while I’m getting my weight stabilized. :-/ The goal, of course, is to eventually eat intuitively…alas.
I just wanted to comment on the subject of irrational fears – I often have to really analyze them to get to the “root.” For instance, I’m not actually scared of gaining weight. I’m scared of what it would mean/indicate (you see, I think I could get over a fear of being “fat” or “normal weight” quite easily if I didn’t have all these meanings attached to those phrases…) Anyway, for me, the fear is often, “I’ll gain weight…which means I’ll take up space, which means I’ll be noticed, which means someone might pay attention to what I say, which means I’ll have to have relationships, which means I’ll be vulnerable, which means I might get hurt…you get the point (I could so get a gold medal in catastrophic thinking!).
What I have found that helps is similar to what you do. It’s turning fear into faith. Trusting that I am capable of handling what life throws my way (either by myself, asking others for help, or trusting a higher power).
Love your blog by the way. I really enjoy your insight.
You seriously rock my world girl– there’s no doubt in my mind you’ll be able to get away from counting one day when your weight is more stable. You sound like SUCH a strong individual.
I almost fell out of my chair when I read the tornado-like cycle your mind goes through with irrational fears– that pretty much sums up my life! Are you sure we aren’t the same person?? haha
And thank you so much for your sweet words about my blog, I’m off to go check out yours pronto!
Ever read http://www.katheatrealfood.com or http://www.eatliverun.com , etc…these girls are not orhtorexic or so uber focused on a sticky gym and weights and body…they are focused on love, life, family, laughter, etc. They try new things and read new things and live and grow. They aren’t paleo or vegan or this or that. I think those lifestyles are just fads.
FALL IN LOVE with food again. Seriously, read “kath eats” or “eat live run” or http://www.pbfingers.com for a while…they just eat, they love, live…they travel and eat hot dogs with the buns…
personally, I don’t think paleo holds up. It’s just another thing, just like raw, just like vegan, etc etc…the blog world you inhabit is filled with orthorexia and you don’t realize it because you are a part of it yourself. Life is about more than perfect. Eating eggs whites (fake and protein powder (real?) and peanut flour (mock version and inferior version of full fat peanut butter)…normal???
when you could snuggle up with real peanut butter and a bowl of ice cream out with the fam…when you buy popcorn at the movie, JUST BECAUSE…
you are SO SO tiny too. I don’t understand all you bloggers that lift weights and show pics and then there are a ton of comments that say “oh wow, look at the muscles on you”…muscles? all the girls i see (many of the bloggers you follow or are the tiny weight lifters be) are so skinny, …i see no muscles…i see tiny arms wasted to just the bare muscle left…amenorrheic? happy ? TRULY happy? why not eat real food…why not read Michael Pollan’s books …why not read MORE spritiual books? (even Jesus ate bread and fish at the Last Supper)…there is no good or bad or right or wrong.
But obsession is so disheartening that it can truly hurt.
You are a GOOD person…and you go way beyond what you put in your mouth. Stomach issues? I bet MENTAL and stress and irrational/misguided fear FEEDS that…confuses your tummy and your mind…
Other things you might like to read include: “Health Food Junkies” by Stephen Bratman (GREAT read!!..go to your library and try to find it…google his name and read his own experiences, etc….read the new hilarious book by A.J Jacobs called “Drop Dead Healthy”….so witty and funny
read some summery chick-lit …rent cartoon movies and enjoy a healthy snack balanced with a splurge!
When you are 80 years old, does it matter that you avoided “x” food and spent “x” hours in gym?
I’m SO sorry, if I come across all wrong. Because maybe these are your goals, maybe I don’t understnad that…maybe I’m expressing my own frustrations with my personal struggles with orthorexia, with being underweight but I’m not exercising…yet all the tiny girls like me on blogs do exercise…to feel lost in life and lost in fear and lost in worry and regret and so so much.
But there is a life out there. And there must be more to life
than
this.
Peace.
Another decent article: http://www.gwynetholwyn.com/blog/2012/1/27/women-laughing-alone-with-salad-orthorexia-nervosa.html
I meant http://www.katheats.com for one link above. typo!
Hi katie! First off, I really appreciate your comment– and I’m not just saying that. Something about the passion in your words really spoke to me.
And I couldn’t agree with you more about REAL nut butter– PB2 and all that just can’t compare if you ask me.
I do read those blogs from time to time, but to be honest, I’ve been so busy with studying, family, and being with friends, that I’ve kind of stepped back from the blog world. Sure, I enjoy reading and commenting when I can, but not nearly like I used to. Blogging has kind of taken a backburner.
I also just wanted to make clear that I don’t want to eat paleo because it’s just another fad. I have been to multiple doctors and I literally have an intolerance to oats and rice, so they even suggested I go on a higher fat diet. My body has really responded well energy wise too. I still eat dairy and legumes though, unlike other paleo people, I don’t think I could ever give up peanut butter haha I’ve also started to ditch the protein powders (except for smoothies and some baking) and have begun to opt for whole eggs, full fat coconut milks, and even avocados which I used to LOATHE haha. It’s been a delicious adventure re-discovering whole, delicious sources of fuel!
I also really liked when you said “When you are 80 years old, does it matter that you avoided “x” food and spent “x” hours in gym?” That really struck home for me! Often times I have to remind myself that you only live once. We truly have been blessed to be given life from God. Our time is so short and as I’ve stopped counting calories and started embracing a healthier mindset/relationship with God, I’m realizing that physical stresses we inflict on ourselves are so stupid in the long run. When we can give it over to God, that is when I believe we truly live to our full potentials.
Thanks again for your comment my friend. Peace and blessings right back atcha! <3
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Awesome post! Something my mum always says is that worry is unstructured problem solving. So it is good to do some worrying – in fact it is a symptom of higher order thinking but also important not to let it get you down.
This was a really fantastic post Alexandra! Thank you for writing this and addressing a problem that heaps of people struggle with. I have heaps of irrational fears, mostly linked with my poor self confidence – I hate being out of control in new situations and I often get paranoid that people won’t like me. I’m a perfectionist so I have an intense fear of failure which I have really had to fight since I’ve become increasingly ill!
Hope you’re having a great week lovely
Hmmm this was a really great post, Alexandra. It took me a while to think about what I would call my irrational fear. It stems mostly around food and exercise…which I am trying to change. Eating the wrong things will make me fat/not help me gain muscle/not fuel my runs properly… If I don’t exercise for a day or two I will get out of shape/gain weight/take longer to reach my goals… And the thing is I KNOW that these things won’t happen!! They are crazy thoughts! One day at a time though.
I think you are doing amazing so far. You are lucky that you have someone to talk it out with. Keep doing what you’re doing! Keeping you in my thoughts!
LOOOOOVE this girl. God is with us lady, and we need to have FAITH not fear or worry!! I know it can be hard not to be afraid, but when we remember that its all in HIS hands and all in HIS will, I think that can give us the strength to do anything!
AMEN!!!! God is so good!
LOVE LOVE LOVE this! Irrational fears are so hard to overcome sometimes but laying it out and looking at it from another point of view can be so helpful. I also read that article and loved it. It’s such a great reminder! Keep up the great work you’re doing an amazing job! He will help lead you to the right place just keep believing<3!
Great post girl!
It’s true, the media sents out all sorts of conflicting messages – you need as much carbs as possible to build muscle – then the other camp says no we eat too many carbs we need more fat.
I love my high fat diet, because i feel better with it (275 carbs was just too much for this fat loving girl, 220 seems perfect!) but i still think – carbs = anabolic maybe i should… Ha you get the picture!
Question! I’m thinking of ordering some lululemon but afraid i’ll get the wrong size – i’m slowly getting too big (or too wide really) for xs/4, but sometimes s/6 is still too big (no boobs!) whatdoyathink?
So true! I think everyone is unique and shouldn’t listen to the media– high fat works for some people, while high carbs works for others. Thank goodness everyone isn’t the same, imagine how boring the world would be haha About the Lululemon sizing- I haven’t tried on their stuff well enough to know, but I’d go for the s/6 just so you’d be comfortable. Personally I’d rather have clothes a tad bit bigger so I’m not choking after it shrinks a little after the first wash haha
woah. i LOVE LOVE LOVE this post girl! ive had fear problems my whole entire life, so i really feel like i can relate
i love that post on the calorie counting. wow. that helps me put it into perspective SO MUCH MORE! xoxo
Oh, Alexandra, I loved this post!! <3 I think we're a society of irrational fearers (<–it's a word for the purpose of this comment!), and unfortunately the media profits off of our vulnerability. There is so much conflicting information out there; who wouldn't be confused and stressed?! I've had irrational fears about food and weight ever since I was 14,and for a long time it seemed as though those fears would shift from one thing to another, depending on what article or news story was trending (fat! carbs! trans fat! sugar! eating at night!…blah blah blah
). In the past year or two, faith and faith alone has helped me quiet those fears. Of course, I still have irrational fears (and always will), but when I'm feeling particularly anxious, I remind myself of the quote you posted–the Bible promises us that we have nothing–NOTHING!–to fear! God has our backs 110%! How amazing is that? He has a plan that has already been written, so it's silly for us to run around all day worrying. The only thing we need to "worry" about is enjoying the one life we have. Remembering this always helps me re-center, and never fails to bring a huge smile to my face. 
Love you TONS!! Huge hugs! xoxoxo
Sara you always make me smile with your comments– I’m so happy you’re getting closer to God while learning to cope with the irrational fears. He is our rock and can quiet those silly voices in our heads! The worries we have now can’t compare to the amazing glory that awaits us with Him
You rock! Hugs right back atcha!
OMG – I love your “rational” fear photo. That certainly does fit the bill. I think my fear of roaches is totally rational.
Irrational… I have so many. But it overwhelms me sometime to think about the future and the things I want to accomplish. I fear it won’t happen, but I have to remember that I’m the captain of my ship!
Alexandra, I love the honesty in this post. Seriously, I lOVE it. It’s not easy to admit that you’re having trouble with something like this.
I struggle with irrational (and, might I add, meaningless) fears as well. You know that =)
I’m not surprised that you struggle with this more when other stuff is stressing you out more – that’s natural. You’re a smart, talented girl and you’ll get through ALL of this <3
Thanks so much Sable
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I understand completely how you’re feeling this way. I am a recent college graduate, and I stressed out beyond belief my very last year of school. I though every single assignment, paper, or exam meant the different between a successful future, and working at McDonalds. Its hard not to think like that in the moment with a bunch of different things piling up. It is very difficult not to think that the world is going to end if you do one thing, but like you acknowledged, it is NOT that important in the grand scheme of things. Its a daily struggle for me to look at the big picture, but allowing yourself to rationalize “irrational” fears can only put up a wall to what you can achieve. Good luck on that test! And even if you don’t do as well as you’d hoped, theres always another chance or another path to try!